How to Heal Loneliness by Giving to Others

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When Jesus meets the women at the well in John 4:4-42, He does something that only he knows how to do: meet people where they are and bring them to where they need to be. Currently, our country is suffering from an epidemic of loneliness; the most recent statistic is that twenty-three percent of all Americans have gone on record to say that they suffer from loneliness in their lives. This leads me to believe that the Body of Christ can and should live up to the challenge of helping our country through this great season of loneliness. 

If we’re going to meet the challenge of ending loneliness, I believe that the first thing we must do is acknowledge the problem at hand; being lonely, according to medical personnel, can be just as problematic as any of the major health dangers of our day. 

When Jesus meets the woman at the well, he acknowledges her situation; he doesn’t avoid the obvious and addresses the need head-on. 

My family and I just returned from a vacation in Florida. During our time there, I took my daughter to the church where I grew up early in my life. 

While touring the church and going down memory lane, I mentioned to her that the fellowship hall was one of the best rooms in the church. I had so many rich memories in the fellowship hall, connecting with people and eating good food; I’ll never forget my daughter looking at me and asking, “Daddy, what is the fellowship hall?” 

Because we attend a church plant that meets in the school, my daughter had never heard of the fellowship hall. I believe that it’s time for us, as a body of Christ, to reintroduce people to the fellowship hall, where individuals connect and get to know one another. 

My friend Ryan Rush has written an excellent book titled Restore the Table. In it, he encourages Christ’s followers to eat together. Ryan believes that when we eat together, community and connections happen.

The Book of Acts clearly states that one of the assignments of the local church is to fellowship with another. In fact, the Book of Acts is clear that when that was done in the early days of the church, the Lord added people to the church. 

It’s incredible to think that before Jesus approached the women at the well, he could have gone in a different direction, but he decided to get out into the community to meet the women at just the right time of the day when he knew that she wouldn’t be distracted. 

If we’re going to address loneliness in our country, we have to get out into the community and meet people where they are. In every community, there is a meeting or hang-out place of sorts, which I believe is where we should be. When we get out in our community, we begin to find people right where their greatest need is. 

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing author Barry Rowan, who wrote The Spiritual Art of Business. What I love about Barry’s book is that he asks the reader to explore purposeful pauses throughout their journey. As the body of Christ, I believe we must pause, look around us, and dig deep to connect with others. 

More often than not, people will not tell us they’re lonely. It’s only in the pause and reflection that we connect with people. One of the things that I love about Barry is his heart for serving the least of these. During my time with him, he mentioned that he decided to give himself and his treasures away, and by doing so, he drew closer to God. It’s amazing how connections happen with those who are lonely when we give ourselves away. 

Recently, I had the privilege of spending time with one of my mentors, Steve Kavanaugh. I was introduced to Steve at the lowest time in my life as a teenager. My mom had just lost her job around Christmas time, and we were in need. Truthfully, I thought there wouldn’t be a Christmas for our family. 

I still remember the week before Christmas when Steve and his entire Singles ministry small group came into our home and dropped off gifts for our family. Looking back, it was the best Christmas ever. 

Steve is still single and has decided to combat his loneliness by serving others. I believe that as the body of Christ, we should do what Jesus modeled and give ourselves away. Hopefully, just as the woman at the well leaves to speak about Jesus, others we encounter will do the same.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Xavier Lorenzo

MAINA MWAURA is a freelance writer and journalist who has interviewed over 800 influential leaders, including two US Presidents, three Vice-Presidents, and a variety of others. Maina, is also the author of the Influential Mentor, How the life and legacy of Howard Hendricks Equipped and Inspired a Generation of Leaders. Maina and his family reside in the Kennesaw, Georgia area.