3 Questions to Ask Yourself When God Seems Silent

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We ask God to make His will clear. We pray for direction, wisdom, a sign—anything that will tell us what to do next. We even beg God to speak to us.

And then sometimes we say He’s silent.

But I’ve started to wonder if, at least occasionally, God isn’t being nearly as silent as we think. Maybe we just don’t like the last thing He said.

Maybe God Has Already Spoken

Recently, I asked my friend Em Tyler to come on my Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast to talk about hearing God’s voice. Why? Because obedience to God’s commands is key to recovery from all our addictions—to substances, yes, but also to work, people-pleasing, and food. 

See, Gospel-centered recovery isn’t just about what we stop doing. It’s about learning to trust Jesus enough to do what He tells us to do - even when it’s uncomfortable, inconvenient, countercultural, or just plain hard.

And trust me: it’s hard.

So if obedience is key to recovery, then to be obedient, we must know what God is telling us to do, right?

Em is someone I’ve watched live with a real sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Whenever I’m on a group call with her, it’s obvious she has learned to listen. In fact, she said something on one of those calls that was so profound, I immediately texted her: “You’re coming on my podcast to talk about hearing from God.”

When we sat down, I asked her what it means to hear from God. I expected an answer. Instead, she gave me a question.

“Has God told you something previously or shown you something previously that you’re not actually yet doing? Did He ask you to do something and you’re not being obedient on it?”

Guilty.

That question got me because I know I’ve done this. I’ve asked God for more clarity when the problem wasn’t a lack of clarity;trish the problem was that I didn’t particularly like the clarity I’d already received.

We say, “God, speak.”

But sometimes what we really mean is, “God, say something different.”

Scripture doesn’t separate hearing from obeying nearly as easily as we sometimes do. James writes, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22, NIV).

That’s painfully straightforward.

So before asking God for a new word, maybe we should ask ourselves a harder question: Am I waiting for God to tell me something new when I haven’t obeyed what He’s already told me?

How Do We Hear God’s Voice?

Of course, that raises an important question: How do we know what God has told us?

Because “God told me,” can get weird quickly.

Christians can mistake emotions, desires, fear, anxiety, confirmation bias, indigestion, or plain old bad ideas for the voice of God. I’ve certainly had moments when what I wanted God to say sounded suspiciously similar to what I wanted to do.

That’s why hearing God isn’t about becoming more confident in every thought that pops into our heads. It begins with abiding in Christ and becoming increasingly dependent on Him.

Jesus said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27, NIV).

Notice the relationship there. Jesus knows His sheep. His sheep know Him. They listen, and they follow. Hearing isn’t presented as some spiritual parlor trick for elite Christians. It’s relational. And, once again, it’s connected to following and abiding.

The point isn’t merely to hear. The point is to follow the One speaking.

Scripture Must Be Our Ultimate Filter

This is where we need an important guardrail: God will never lead us in a way that contradicts what He has already revealed in Scripture.

The Holy Spirit isn’t going to contradict the Word He inspired.

That means Scripture must remain our ultimate filter when we’re trying to discern whether a prompting, impression, thought, “word” from someone else, or conviction is actually from God. If I believe God is telling me to do something Scripture calls sin, I don’t need further discernment. That’s not God.

And many times, we don’t need a special word from God at all. He’s already spoken clearly. I don’t need to pray about whether I should forgive. Whether I should tell the truth. Whether I should not watch porn. Whether I should love my enemy. Whether I should confess sin. Whether I should care for people in need.

Those things may still be brutally difficult to do. But difficulty and ambiguity aren’t the same thing.

Sometimes we’re asking God to clarify something He has already made clear because we’re hoping for an exemption.

Sound familiar? I’m guilty.

Hearing God Requires Humility

But what about decisions Scripture doesn’t address specifically? Which job should I take? Should I have this conversation? Is the Holy Spirit prompting me to call this person, give that money away, apologize, wait, speak, or be quiet?

This is where humility matters so much.

There is a world of difference between saying, “I think the Holy Spirit may be prompting me to do this, so I’m going to prayerfully test it,” and using “God told me” as a trump card nobody is allowed to question.

We should know God’s Word. We should pray. We should abide in Christ. We should pay attention to the Spirit’s prompting. And we should be willing to test what we think we’re hearing with Scripture and wise, mature believers.

Then, sometimes, we have to take the next step without the absolute certainty we’d prefer.

That’s part of trust.

That matters a lot in recovery because addiction trains us to seek control, comfort, escape, and immediate relief. Obedience often asks us to do the opposite. Tell the truth instead of managing how people see us. Confess instead of hide. Sit with discomfort instead of escaping it. Forgive instead of nursing resentment. Ask for help instead of pretending we’re fine.

The next right thing can feel terrifying.

Do it anyway.

What If God Really Does Seem Silent?

There are also seasons when we genuinely don’t know what God is doing or saying. We pray, search Scripture, ask for wisdom, and still don’t have the clarity we want.

I’ve lived those seasons. They can be painful.

But God’s apparent silence isn’t proof of His absence. And it doesn’t suspend everything He’s already revealed about who He is or how He calls us to live.

When I can’t discern some new direction, I can still abide. I can still pray. I can still open Scripture. I can still tell the truth. I can still love the person in front of me. I can still resist sin. I can still do the last thing God made clear.

Maybe that’s the invitation when God seems silent: don’t become obsessed with getting a new instruction. Stay close to Jesus and remain faithful with what’s already in front of you.

So, before you ask God to speak again, try asking yourself three questions:

1. Has God already spoken clearly about this in Scripture?
2. Has He already convicted or prompted me about something that I’ve delayed, avoided, or explained away? 
3. Am I really asking for clarity—or am I hoping for permission to do something different? 

Don’t use those questions to manufacture an answer God hasn’t given. Use them to honestly examine whether the silence you’re experiencing is actually silence.

In my conversation with Em, we go much deeper into discerning the Holy Spirit’s voice, the surprisingly ordinary ways He may prompt us, miraculous healing, forgiveness and unforgiveness, and the differences between forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration.

But the question I keep coming back to is the one Em asked me.

“Has God already shown me something I’m not actually doing?”

Before you ask Him to speak again, sit with that question for a minute.

Maybe instead of repeating Himself, God is actually just waiting for you to move on what He’s already said.

Listen to Jon’s full conversation with Em Tyler on the Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast: “When God Seems Silent: Em Tyler on Hearing His Voice and Discerning the Holy Spirit.”  If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, share this podcast or follow Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

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